Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Cookie Induced Coma


At times when you come up against the harshest of days, and the meanest of people. When your resolve is tasked to the point of no return, yet you clasp a clawing hand on it's shirt-tails, and drag it back to you, with strength you're surprized you had.

Days when words his like Mike Tyson in his prime, and your resilience is like Jerry Cooney, hitting the canvas, for a very long, and painful fall. Looking upward for assistance, and helping hand, that doesn't have a joy buzzer attached to it.

It's the the package deal, with being able to buy alcohol, porn, and cigarettes. Of being able to see any movie you want to, even NC-17, without being accompanied by parent or guardian. The Platinum Deal, that gives you hair in odd places, and aches when you've never even moved from the unrepentant comfort of a really nice couch. Not having to wash dishes, or clothes, or windows, or even yourself, if you damn well don't feel like it. You're an adult now, time to put away childish things.

But, in a fit of clarity, mixed with nostalgia, and especially after a hard day, don't you just wish you could be a kid again. A bright eyed, boldly imaginative child, who could eat thirty thousand chocolate chip cookies, and fall into a peaceful sleep, while cartoons watched you?

After the day I've had.. I show nuff do.

Never malign, that which you envy.

I'm astounded. I'm sitting here, mouth agape, eyes like saucers and scratching my head, in befuddled disbelief.

I'll get to why, in a moment, but first, a bit of background.

It was 1997 and the Oscar for best original screenplay was award to Ben Affleck, and Matt Damon, for a film I begrudgingly loved, "Good Will Hunting". These two guys, albeit ion the industry, wrote a stellar screenplay, corral stellar talent to work in front of and behind the camera, and created a a beautiful character study, without getting schmaltzy and "woe is me". After fighting through the thick cloud of pea colored envy, I relented.. I really loved the film.

And it was around that time, that i had begun to foster my desire to be a filmmaker. As i watched the Oscars for both inspiration and motivation, I gained both, when I saw Matt, and Ben, triumphantly stride the stage, genuinely proud and excited that their labors bore such great fruit. I was hooked and to this day still am.. obviously.

Flash forward to 2005, not the Oscar's, furthest thing from t actually, and I see a trailer for a movie, based on a very popular video game. The name of the flick, is "Bloodrayne", produced and directed by Uwe Boll, written by Guinevere Turner. Neither person i'd every heard of, or seen anything by, at that time. So a year later, "Bloodrayne" was on cable, 3-am in the morning on a Friday. I was recently single, broke, and unshowered, so i watched it.

Now, let us once again enter the Way Back Machine, and head to 2005 for "Alone in the Dark", then to 2007 for "Postal", then to 2008 for "Far Cry", all directed by Uwe Ball, and written by various different screenwriters. I've seen all but "Far Cry" which doesn't seem to be on Netflix, or Blockbuster (which is shocking in and of, itself). The director Uwe Boll is a learned man, and a prolific filmmaker. That having been said...

We now return to 09.08.09 Tuesday morning, day after a long holiday, and after an exceedingly fun day at work, I stumble upon this interesting bit of internet profundity...

As copied from the website - "Stop Dr. Uwe Boll Petition"

To: Dr. Uwe Boll

We, the undersigned, respectfully ask that Uwe Boll give proper weight to the wishes of the video game community, the horror community, and the film going community in general and stop directing, producing, or taking any part in the creation of feature films. His distasteful handling of the subject matter and lack of acknowledgment of his failures simply cannot be abided any longer.

Mr. Boll has repeatedly shown a complete lack of comprehension regarding the videogames he has dragged, kicking and screaming, to the silver screen and his ham-fisted approach to horror has soiled future possibilities for anyone else who may attempt to bring videogames to film.

Sincerely,
The Undersigned

...seriously?

Now, I know I've seen my fair share of truly terrible movies, some where I walked out of the theater, feeling as though I'd been poked by an annoying 12 yr old with too much sugar in his blood, and a degree in filmmaking from "Roscoe's School of the Movement Pickture", for 90-120 minutes. Dreadful, films, posing as delightful entertainment, only to ambush you with lack of story, or lack of anything that makes shelling out 12.50 (NYC prices), worthwhile.

However, I've never been so annoyed, peeved, ticked, pee-o'd enough to even think, to formulate a movement, to forcibly retire a filmmaker, from his chosen profession. i can't even malign the aforementioned auteur, I'm in no position to. He's doing exactly what I want to be doing. He's making films. He's doing what so very few of us get a chance to do, and he's doing it with shocking regularity. His investors barely lose money, he gets to indulge himself in a job, that I would quite frankly kiss rabid wolverines, to get the opportunity to do.

Now I will not say, that I did not chuckle aloud when I read it. In fact I bellowed so loud, I think my coworkers feared a psychotic break was soon to follow. I did have quite a good laugh. But then I thought to myself...

"Self..?"

"Yes.", I replied

"Why are you laughing?" self wondered with cold curiosity.

"Can you believe that they wanna petition to stop this guy from making movies?" I chortled.

"Can I ask you a question?" said Self.

""Sure." I replied

"Have you made a movie yet?" Self said calmly.

The laughter quickly ebbed. Because I've never made a movie. Yes, I'm working on my first in a series of short films. Yet, I've not shot one nanosecond of film. Whereas this gentleman has made 24 in a little over 20 years. I could rail on against his talent, his choice of subject matter, even his infamy, but the fact of the matter,m this man has the kind of career I want. To make films, be a director, and enjoy every day doing it.

I only hope no one petitions against me.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Filming is underway - Why am i not excited?

Ok, that's kind of misleading. I'm not excited. I'm not giddy with girlish anticipation, nor am I running around like a kid on Christmas day, squealing and screeching, like a howler monkey with its tail on fire.

I'm focused, I'm intent, i have the single minded focus of a great white shark, minus the rows of serrated teeth, and, well the whole not being a shark thing. I'm focused on creating great works of cinematic art. using a dvcam, and camcorder, and as much borrowed software I can get my hands on.

I'm not excited because I don't want to lose my concentration, i don't want to slip out of the artisan cloak, and into the audience chair. I love movies, and I love getting lost in the story of someones life, or the adventure of an other's. I think in order for me to complete this task, with the highest level of success and quality, me the audience, has to wait to "buy the ticket, and take the ride".

Now...

That being said, it's going to be incredibly difficult. i love seeing my words come out of the mouths of some truly talented, yet wholly undiscovered and under appreciated craftsman and women. I will be sitting behind the camera, stifling the giddy urge to indulge in joyous outbursts. Or suppress the desire to run up and squeeze the crumbs out of my actors when they nail a particularly difficult piece of direction. Or sit in slack-jawed awe, as they turn a wordy piece of dialog, in to high art.

These are the things that I will try my determined best, not to do. Because I'm the artisan, the technician, the draftsman, the director.

But deep inside, and in someways, very close to the surface, I'm the chubby little kid, watching "Ordinary People" "Ocean's Eleven", and "Casablanca", on a Sunday afternoon.

Ok, maybe I'm a little excited.

Update: 09-07-09 - Filming Starts

The holidays are officially over and the availability of the actors is open, so filming has begun. The choice to film at my place of employment was an easy one... They said yes and the won't charge me a cent. How can you get better than that.

The unfortunate thing is that not all of the actors are available, I've had to create new pieces. The cast is primarily male, so I've had a chance to work on styles of films I really dig. Crime comedy, "Ocean's Eleven" (circa 1960). I've always dug the dialog and the interchange between the main characters, even Peter Lawford was easy to watch.

I'll be updating the list of scripts with the new pieces, with full descriptions, as soon as possible. And look for updates, such as productions photos, and production journal entries on the film site - Loud Voice Films