Never malign, that which you envy.

I'm astounded. I'm sitting here, mouth agape, eyes like saucers and scratching my head, in befuddled disbelief.

I'll get to why, in a moment, but first, a bit of background.

It was 1997 and the Oscar for best original screenplay was award to Ben Affleck, and Matt Damon, for a film I begrudgingly loved, "Good Will Hunting". These two guys, albeit ion the industry, wrote a stellar screenplay, corral stellar talent to work in front of and behind the camera, and created a a beautiful character study, without getting schmaltzy and "woe is me". After fighting through the thick cloud of pea colored envy, I relented.. I really loved the film.

And it was around that time, that i had begun to foster my desire to be a filmmaker. As i watched the Oscars for both inspiration and motivation, I gained both, when I saw Matt, and Ben, triumphantly stride the stage, genuinely proud and excited that their labors bore such great fruit. I was hooked and to this day still am.. obviously.

Flash forward to 2005, not the Oscar's, furthest thing from t actually, and I see a trailer for a movie, based on a very popular video game. The name of the flick, is "Bloodrayne", produced and directed by Uwe Boll, written by Guinevere Turner. Neither person i'd every heard of, or seen anything by, at that time. So a year later, "Bloodrayne" was on cable, 3-am in the morning on a Friday. I was recently single, broke, and unshowered, so i watched it.

Now, let us once again enter the Way Back Machine, and head to 2005 for "Alone in the Dark", then to 2007 for "Postal", then to 2008 for "Far Cry", all directed by Uwe Ball, and written by various different screenwriters. I've seen all but "Far Cry" which doesn't seem to be on Netflix, or Blockbuster (which is shocking in and of, itself). The director Uwe Boll is a learned man, and a prolific filmmaker. That having been said...

We now return to 09.08.09 Tuesday morning, day after a long holiday, and after an exceedingly fun day at work, I stumble upon this interesting bit of internet profundity...

As copied from the website - "Stop Dr. Uwe Boll Petition"

To: Dr. Uwe Boll

We, the undersigned, respectfully ask that Uwe Boll give proper weight to the wishes of the video game community, the horror community, and the film going community in general and stop directing, producing, or taking any part in the creation of feature films. His distasteful handling of the subject matter and lack of acknowledgment of his failures simply cannot be abided any longer.

Mr. Boll has repeatedly shown a complete lack of comprehension regarding the videogames he has dragged, kicking and screaming, to the silver screen and his ham-fisted approach to horror has soiled future possibilities for anyone else who may attempt to bring videogames to film.

Sincerely,
The Undersigned

...seriously?

Now, I know I've seen my fair share of truly terrible movies, some where I walked out of the theater, feeling as though I'd been poked by an annoying 12 yr old with too much sugar in his blood, and a degree in filmmaking from "Roscoe's School of the Movement Pickture", for 90-120 minutes. Dreadful, films, posing as delightful entertainment, only to ambush you with lack of story, or lack of anything that makes shelling out 12.50 (NYC prices), worthwhile.

However, I've never been so annoyed, peeved, ticked, pee-o'd enough to even think, to formulate a movement, to forcibly retire a filmmaker, from his chosen profession. i can't even malign the aforementioned auteur, I'm in no position to. He's doing exactly what I want to be doing. He's making films. He's doing what so very few of us get a chance to do, and he's doing it with shocking regularity. His investors barely lose money, he gets to indulge himself in a job, that I would quite frankly kiss rabid wolverines, to get the opportunity to do.

Now I will not say, that I did not chuckle aloud when I read it. In fact I bellowed so loud, I think my coworkers feared a psychotic break was soon to follow. I did have quite a good laugh. But then I thought to myself...

"Self..?"

"Yes.", I replied

"Why are you laughing?" self wondered with cold curiosity.

"Can you believe that they wanna petition to stop this guy from making movies?" I chortled.

"Can I ask you a question?" said Self.

""Sure." I replied

"Have you made a movie yet?" Self said calmly.

The laughter quickly ebbed. Because I've never made a movie. Yes, I'm working on my first in a series of short films. Yet, I've not shot one nanosecond of film. Whereas this gentleman has made 24 in a little over 20 years. I could rail on against his talent, his choice of subject matter, even his infamy, but the fact of the matter,m this man has the kind of career I want. To make films, be a director, and enjoy every day doing it.

I only hope no one petitions against me.