Filming is underway - Why am i not excited?

Ok, that's kind of misleading. I'm not excited. I'm not giddy with girlish anticipation, nor am I running around like a kid on Christmas day, squealing and screeching, like a howler monkey with its tail on fire.

I'm focused, I'm intent, i have the single minded focus of a great white shark, minus the rows of serrated teeth, and, well the whole not being a shark thing. I'm focused on creating great works of cinematic art. using a dvcam, and camcorder, and as much borrowed software I can get my hands on.

I'm not excited because I don't want to lose my concentration, i don't want to slip out of the artisan cloak, and into the audience chair. I love movies, and I love getting lost in the story of someones life, or the adventure of an other's. I think in order for me to complete this task, with the highest level of success and quality, me the audience, has to wait to "buy the ticket, and take the ride".

Now...

That being said, it's going to be incredibly difficult. i love seeing my words come out of the mouths of some truly talented, yet wholly undiscovered and under appreciated craftsman and women. I will be sitting behind the camera, stifling the giddy urge to indulge in joyous outbursts. Or suppress the desire to run up and squeeze the crumbs out of my actors when they nail a particularly difficult piece of direction. Or sit in slack-jawed awe, as they turn a wordy piece of dialog, in to high art.

These are the things that I will try my determined best, not to do. Because I'm the artisan, the technician, the draftsman, the director.

But deep inside, and in someways, very close to the surface, I'm the chubby little kid, watching "Ordinary People" "Ocean's Eleven", and "Casablanca", on a Sunday afternoon.

Ok, maybe I'm a little excited.

Update: 09-07-09 - Filming Starts

The holidays are officially over and the availability of the actors is open, so filming has begun. The choice to film at my place of employment was an easy one... They said yes and the won't charge me a cent. How can you get better than that.

The unfortunate thing is that not all of the actors are available, I've had to create new pieces. The cast is primarily male, so I've had a chance to work on styles of films I really dig. Crime comedy, "Ocean's Eleven" (circa 1960). I've always dug the dialog and the interchange between the main characters, even Peter Lawford was easy to watch.

I'll be updating the list of scripts with the new pieces, with full descriptions, as soon as possible. And look for updates, such as productions photos, and production journal entries on the film site - Loud Voice Films